excessive sweating

Back for 2024!

/ carynjoan / Leave a comment

Happy New Year! 

First off, I want to let you all know that I am alive and well. It’s been five years since I last posted on my blog. I hope you are all doing well. I’ve missed you! While I wasn’t active on this platform, I was still involved in the Hyperhidrosis community. 

Most recently, I was featured on NPR podcast, Audacious with Chion Wolf as I talked about what living with excessive sweating meant for me. I was so grateful for this opportunity. When I was first approached, I almost said no. It was my gut reaction. It’s hard to talk about Hyperhidrosis publicly. I wasn’t sure I was up for it. But after learning more about the series Chion was doing on rare conditions (although Hyperhidrosis really isn’t as rare as it was once thought to be) I gathered my courage to say yes and help bring Hyperhidrosis awareness and understanding to a larger audience. 

Chion was down to earth and personable. She really wanted to learn about my experiences and her interview questions were so thoughtful. She even stumped me when she asked, “What would you want someone to say to you if they noticed your excessive sweating?” I remember thinking about that question long after the call ended and realizing that I really just wanted my excessive sweating to be invisible. If no one saw it, no one would need to say anything. I’ll just deal with it myself, as long as no one else knows what I’m going through. But Hyperhidrosis has a way of sneaking into our daily social lives. By the way, I don’t think that question made it to the final cut in the podcast. I’d love to hear how you would answer that question. Please let me know if there’s anything someone has said to you that has helped or something you wish they would say.  

Also last year, I had the honor of counseling a branding firm that was going to help relaunch Dove Clinical antiperspirant deodorant. It was a humbling experience to teach Hyperhidrosis from my first hand experience to a group of people trying to gain a deep understanding so that they could communicate it to the world. We talked about the spectrum of Hyperhidrosis and how every person is unique. Products may work differently for each person. Discussion about the Hyperhidrosis spectrum was really interesting to me and a topic I would like to dig more into.

Over the past five years, I have also had meaningful conversations with many of you! Although I wasn’t active on my blog, I had lovely emails, phone calls, and video calls with many of my readers about Hyperhidrosis. If we haven’t met personally, I’d love to hear from you! You can reach me at justalittlesweat@gmail.com. 

So…five years. 

A lot has changed! I am basically a new person haha. I’m a mom! 

I have two boys – a 4 year old and a 1 ½ year old. My husband and I are living the family dream and we’ll be celebrating our 8 year wedding anniversary in April!

You may be wondering – do my kids have Hyperhidrosis? What is taking care of babies/kids like with excessive sweating? Have you told them you have Hyperhidrosis? Do they even notice you have it? How do you feel about all this? 

Well, so far I am happy to report that I do not notice excessive sweating in my kids’ hands or feet. First of all – yay!!! You may have read about Hyperhidrosis and heredity. It can be hereditary. My aunt on my mom’s side has Hyperhidrosis. Her two boys have it. 

Hyperhidrosis can appear at birth/shortly after birth, or even later in life like during puberty. My parents noticed that I had excessive sweating at least by my first birthday. So, I guess this is to say that I’m not ruling anything out. I’m keeping an attentive, but not obsessive, eye on my kids for excessive sweating. I will say that although not confirmed, my older son does express some cranial excessive sweating symptoms. This is brought on with exercise. He’s an active and athletic kid, so this is all probably normal, but I do notice he’ll be sweating more than the other kids along his hairline, and pretty noticeably too. The good thing is that it has not bothered him once and besides me, I don’t think anyone has said anything about it. The other kids haven’t commented to him about it. 

What’s it like taking care of my kids with sweaty hands? It hasn’t been too much of an issue. Sometimes their clothes will get a little wet from me changing them or holding them, especially when they were babies. Most notably, their little hands can easily escape mine when we’re holding hands to walk across the street. If I’m able to, I ask my oldest to hold on to the stroller instead or hold my husband’s hand if he’s with us. 

I haven’t told my kids that I have Hyperhidrosis or what it is. My oldest might be at a point where I can start that conversation. Where we are right now, they haven’t really noticed. I think it’s just them being young and not aware of it yet. 

I fear the day one of my kids may recoil with disgust if I try to hold their hand in my sweaty own. This is why I need to get ahead of it. I will start speaking out loud about sweat positivity. I want it to be normal in our house. So far, I’ve hinted at it a little – like when it’s bath time after breaking a sweat at the playground. I remember doing a double take when I was talking with my son. I had said something like “we need to wash the sweat away,” but then I caught myself and said, “but sweat is normal and healthy!” Sweat will be a thoughtful topic in our house and an ongoing conversation. I’ll let you know how it goes and please feel free to send any suggestions for talking with kids about sweat. 

As for me, I’m still working from home. I have told others that it’s been my “cure” for Hyperhidrosis. It’s a place where I can manage my own temperature and environment. There are no unexpected handshakes or high fives. I still sweat, but it’s a lot more manageable when I’m in a controlled environment. Outside experiences are a different story. 

I started taking piano lessons. I’ve been taking lessons for a little over a year now. Piano – and most musical instruments – have their challenges as someone with Hyperhidrosis. I am proud of myself for having the courage to start and continue. The lessons are at my house where I can control the temperature. During lessons, I turn my heat down or AC up so I can be cold. Sometimes I am too cold, and worry that my teacher is uncomfortable, but it helps my hands from sweating too much when playing. When my hands are sweating, playing piano is incredibly uncomfortable. It’s a negative cycle physically and mentally. It’s also really not enjoyable if my hands are sweating, so I try to control the temperature and what I’m wearing so that I can get ahead of it as best I can. At times, I’ve had to stop and take a step away to get a towel or run my wrists under cold water. If I’m able to control my sweating with these techniques, which really is more than not (thankfully), I do enjoy playing and plan to continue. 

I’m still fanning my sweaty hands with anything I have on me, wiping them off and holding on to towels. I’m not currently using any treatment. My next trials may be with lotion that helps excessive sweating. Please let me know how you’re coping with Hyperhidrosis and what techniques or products you are using. 

Thank you for reading and finding my blog. I am so humbled that many of you reached out to me over the past five years even when I stopped writing here. Thank you for sharing your stories. I wish you all a happy, healthy, and dry 2024! 

Caryn

Hello!

/ carynjoan / 5 Comments

Happy belated New Year! I apologize for the large gap in my entries. Life is as hectic as always and I’m here now to catch you up on my most recent adventures.

In December and January, I traveled to China with an orchestra to tour! It was an amazing, once-in-a-life-time experience filled with culture, excitement, and good music.

In preparation for the trip, I think everyone was stressed out. There was a lot to do in a short period of time. We needed to fill out a lot of paperwork, go to the Chinese consulate to get a Chinese Visa, and do extensive preparation of music – not to mention pack for a 3 week tour for several different climates.

I had additional stress because I felt like I needed to also prepare my body. I needed to start my iontophoresis treatments again so that my hands wouldn’t bother me playing 15 concerts in 3 weeks over in China.

I finished my initial 10 treatments just in time, right before we left. I’m happy that I did this because I barely had an issue with my hands while I was over there. I think a big reason for this though was the climate. Many cities we were in were very cold and several of the halls we played in didn’t have proper heat. Cold weather is always good for people with HH, so I wasn’t complaining.

Confucius Temple
Certified to perform in China!
Playing a Chinese flute in Shanghai
I’m on Chinese TV!

A month after returning to the states, I performed with this same group at Carnegie Hall. I hadn’t kept up the treatments, but my hands weren’t bothering me because of the winter weather. However, Carnegie was really tough for me. I’m lucky that I remembered to bring my wash cloth on stage. I thought I’d only need it intermittently, but the stage was hot and I was holding onto it for dear life in between the notes.

Playing the flute with HH is really tough. Over this past weekend, I played a concert with my quintet and during rehearsal, my hands were so bad. I had to constantly use my towel and even had to ask if we could open a window to get some colder air circulating. It’s really frustrating when I need to concentrate on playing the right notes and all I can do is make sure I don’t drop my instrument. I feel like I’m not playing to my potential because a lot of my energy is going to just making sure my hands don’t break my instrument.

I need to start treatments again really soon. Not only for musical reasons, but because my wedding is now next month! Time flies!

HH strikes again in the most unexpected places. 2 weeks ago, I had my first dress fitting. I was having my dress pinned so it could be hemmed and the tailor asked if I could hold out the front of the dress. I did until my hands got to be too much. I actually told the tailor that I have hyperhidrosis and asked my mom to take over holding the dress. I was so scared that the sweat on my hands were going to discolor my dress! I don’t know why I bluntly told the tailor about my HH. I think it is because I figured she wouldn’t know what I was talking about, but I also got the sense that she wouldn’t care.

Also two weekends ago, I got a new phone. I upgraded from an iPhone 4s to the 6s. On this new phone, it takes your thumb print as a security code. In the store, the sales rep was asking me to type info and put my thumb print on the sensor. The whole time my hands were dripping and I was petrified that it wasn’t going to work. Thumb print scanning has failed in the past for me because of HH several times. I was also worried the sales rep would notice and I’d get embarrassed.

So, there’s always something with HH. I’m on  the subway right now typing this up on my new iPhone and I have to keep stopping to dry my hands. Scared I’ll break it or electrocute myself.

I’m going to start treatments tonight.  In the winter months, I need it less, but in general, I find continuous treatment challenging. Maybe I’m too busy, or maybe I’m just lazy. Does anyone else have trouble keeping up?

Until next time: Stay cool and dry!

Thanks for reading,

Caryn

New Product Review: Carpe Antiperspirant Hand Lotion

/ carynjoan / 9 Comments

Hi all,

I was recently introduced to a brand new product called Carpe. It is an antiperspirant hand lotion for sweaty hands! I received a sample of this product in the mail a few weeks ago and immediately felt results. I was recommending this product the day I tried it and I am happy to write a review for my blog!

tube

What’s great about this product is that it is a non-invasive solution for sweaty hands. It’s something you can take on the go and use as you need it. It can be used daily and will keep your hands sweat-free for hours (4+).

Carpe is an opaque white lotion with a pleasant scent. It smells like eucalyptus and mint. One of my first observations when opening the lotion was that it had a mild scent and didn’t smell like medicine. I feel like a lot of similar lotions don’t have as nice of smell.

Carpe should be applied to clean and dry hands.  You apply a pea-sized amount to your palms and rub together for 15 seconds. The lotion is pretty tacky when going on, but it disappears within the 15 seconds and leaves no residue. I was able to resume typing on my computer keyboard after the 15 seconds and did not need to rinse my hands. The lotion sunk in for a while and my hands were dry.

I find this product especially good for people with HH who have not yet explored other treatment options, children with HH, and people who have occasionally sweaty hands.  For people who  haven’t explored any other treatment options, a lotion is the perfect way to start. Carpe is sold over the counter and is very affordable. One tube costs $14.95 and will last for 1.5 months. For children with HH, I think a lotion is absolutely the way to go. Since HH is hereditary, I’ve given a lot of thought to how I will approach HH with my future children if they get my HH gene. I would not want to put them through Iontophoresis or give them Robinol until much later. Since the lotion is topical and can be reapplied throughout the day, it’s a great tool for kids at school and during after-school activities. Same goes for people who do not have HH, but have occasionally sweaty hands. The lotion is great for them because they won’t need the more intense treatments like Ionotphoresis or Robinol.

Last week, I had the pleasure of speaking with the co-creater of Carpe, David Spratte. He started working on this product when he was a senior in high school because of his frustration with sweaty hands. Now, a junior at the University of North Carolina, his product is on sale and ready to help the HH community and more! I was quite impressed to learn how much David had accomplished at such a young age and I was inspired by his story. I love that this product was created by someone who was struggling with sweaty hands himself.  He took his experiences and knowledge of sweaty hands to create a product he knew would work. David uses Carpe every day.

Something unique and special about Carpe is that long-term sweat reduction is possible if it is used regularly. David says that based on efficacy studies, 60% sweat reduction is achieved long-term if used once a day. Carpe is FDA-certified and non-irritating, so it is safe to use daily. Additionally, I was very happy to learn from David that Carpe also works on sweaty feet and foreheads. If you use the product on your feet, wait 10-15 minutes before putting on a shoe or sock to ensure the lotion sinks in.

Last, I would like to mention how much I love the name of this product. Carpe is short for Carpe Diem – Sieze the Day. David uses ‘Sieze the Moment’ on his packaging. Having this association with the lotion completely correlates to what I mention in my blog: Don’t let HH limit you and what you want to do in life. This lotion can provide  much needed relief as you face challenging and potentially embarrassing daily situations. Whether it be a handshake or highfive, playing sports or musical instruments, or simply taking a test with paper and pencil, Carpe can be a solution for you.

Please let me know if you have any questions about Carpe and please check out their website!

Thanks for reading,

Caryn

 

Concerts in the Summer

/ carynjoan / 5 Comments

The summer is getting hot here in NYC! Sometimes it feels like my Iontophoresis treatments are not working as well, but I am going to attribute that to the heat. My hands have been sweating a lot and I’ve pretty much given up on my feet. My feet sweat terribly but it doesn’t bother me as much because I stopped wearing open toed shoes a couple of years ago, and wear socks or peds with all my shoes. I’ve been able to cut my Iontophoresis treatment time in half! When my fiance is with me, he helps work and monitor the device so I can treat both hands at the same time. 20 minutes of treatment is a lot better than 40 minutes!

A couple of weeks ago, I was fortunate to play with an orchestra at Merkin Hall. During our rehearsal a few hours before the concert, the stage was impossibly hot and humid. The heat made my hands constantly sweat. I had my yellow towel with me, but it wasn’t helping! Every note I played on my flute made my hands feel mushy and like I was breaking my instrument. I knew at that moment that I would not be able to make it through the concert without a towel, but I couldn’t bring my yellow towel on stage. Orchestra members wear all black during performances, so I needed a black towel so it wouldn’t stand out. I actually went to a store between the rehearsal and concert to find a black washcloth. After searching the entire store, the best I could find was a dark blue. I bought it and brought it on stage with me that night. It was helpful, but by that point, the AC was working a lot better and I didn’t need it as much. At least I now own something that I can bring on stage with me in the future. The concert was a huge success and I can’t wait to play with them again!

Caryn

Iontophoresis Trials

/ carynjoan / 5 Comments

Hello all,

I’m back! After my 100th blog entry at the end of last year, I needed a little break. It’s time to start writing again!

I hope your new year is off to a great start. So far this year, I’ve been busy with new projects in music, Just a Little Sweat, my career, and wedding planning! I imagine this will be a very exciting year for me and I’m looking forward to sharing with you along the way.

In the meantime, I’ve been wanting to talk with you about my Iontophoresis treatments, but I have held off for a few reasons:

1. I never told you that my hands started sweating again back in October although I continued with regular treatments until December with no results
2. I wasn’t sure if I had become immune to the Iontophoresis treatments or if my machine had stopped working
3. I wanted to see if I could do anything about it

I’m sorry that I never told you about this, but I have good news to report now.

When my hands started sweating again, I emailed Bill Schuler from R.A. Fischer (the company my Iontophoresis device is from). He told me that he had heard of this same occurrence from other customers in the past and suggested that I take 1 to 2 weeks off from treatment and start again. I took the time off, and then started up with the initial treatments in January (every other day for 10 treatments). I am happy and relieved to report that it was successful! I am now seeing positive results from the Iontophoresis treatments and use it once a week.

I wanted you all to know about this in case this ever happens to you with your Iontophoresis treatments. Try taking some time off and start from the beginning again!

When my hands started sweating again, it was really discouraging, especially because it was immediately after I got engaged and people were taking my hands to look at my ring. I was really upset about it and scared. Iontophoresis had been so successful with my palmar HH and I was worried that I had lost the one treatment that had actually helped.

I’m happy I can report good news!

Have a great day and thanks for reading,

Caryn

100th Blog Post – Three Years of Just a Little Sweat

/ carynjoan / Leave a comment

Today is a very special day for Just a Little Sweat as I am celebrating two major milestones in the life of this blog. It has been exactly 3 years since I wrote my first post for Just a Little Sweat. Today, I share my 100th!!

3 years of Just a Little Sweat

As I sit here at my desk, writing this entry with the help of my favorite yellow towel and fan, I wanted to first say how thankful I am for all of your support in Just a Little Sweat. If you take a look back at my first post on December 5, 2011, I write about not being sure if I wanted to make this blog public. Talking about HH is really scary, even if it’s over the internet! However, you all accepted me and this blog with open arms and have provided as much support to me as this blog may have supported you. Over the course of 3 years writing for Just a Little Sweat, I have met countless people in cyber space – people from all over the globe and all walks of life. I am honored to have met you, to have learned your stories, and to have had the opportunity to respond to your all your comments and emails. Thank you for your positive feedback, your strength and optimism in the HH community, and for lending an open ear to my stories.

A lot has happened in my life in the 3 years since starting this blog. Let’s take a look back at some of my posts as I remember the highlights:

To celebrate 3 years, I looked back at my 100 posts and chose my top 5. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Caryn’s Top 5 Favorite Posts from Just a Little Sweat

5. The HH Super Villain??
I love it when HH appears in pop culture. It’s not proven that the character has HH, but I’m pretty sure he does 🙂 I’m cheating by linking this additional post, but I can’t resist. Check out another HH reference in pop culture in a Luann Comic.

4. What HH has taught me
Every now and then, I return to this post to remind myself of everything I’ve gained because of HH – patience, strength, courage, tolerance and pride in myself.

3. I posted my Blog Site on Facebook
Writing this entry and actually following through with posting it on Facebook was a huge step in my life. I’m proud of how I brave I was in this moment and still think my letter to the Facebook community provides a great introduction to awareness of HH.

2. Sweat and Chicken Wings
This post was a response to a question about my dating life with HH and how coincidentally, my fiance has secondary HH when he eats spicy food like chicken wings. I write: “HH is a big part of your life and a big part of who you are, whether you like it or not. The right person for you is going to love you for everything you are.”

1. How My Blog Got Its Title
I just posted this entry this week, but it is my favorite. I remembered my initial goals for this blog were to help connect the HH community and explain HH in a way that was relatable to people with and without HH. Advocating universal awareness of HH has always been important to me. Thank you for giving me courage to advocate for our community and for being advocates yourself!

Although the time seemed to fly by, so much has changed and I am very happy to be where I am now in life. I’m looking forward to many more years of sharing my stories with you and listening to yours! Thank you again for your support and as always, for reading!

All my best and Happy Holidays,

Caryn

How My Blog Got Its Title

/ carynjoan / 1 Comment

I started this blog three years ago with the intention of it becoming a platform to connect the HH community and a place to explain our condition in a way that was relatable to everyone – people with and without HH. To be honest, this blog started as an outlet for my growing frustrations with HH. Three years ago, I was struggling because my Robinol tablets had stopped working and I was living in very warm conditions during the summer in NYC. I was upset that there was little to no awareness for our condition and frustrated by the fact that I felt like I couldn’t talk about it because sweat is pretty much a taboo subject in our society. I didn’t think it was fair that people living with HH couldn’t feel comfortable talking openly about their condition and I felt as if we were forced to live in silent suffering. HH is a medical condition. Whether you were born with it or developed it later on in life, HH is nothing you did wrong and it’s not something you could control.

Three years ago when I was thinking of potential names and goals for this blog, I was really hitting a road block. It was not until I heard people out there say, “It’s just a little sweat, how bad can it be?”

There it was. As someone living with HH, I never wanted to hear that.

I decided that I could start a blog to explain HH in a way that showed all aspects of the impact HH has made on my life – physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially. Three years ago, there were a few medical blogs and websites about HH, but I felt the HH community (and the rest of the world!) was lacking a personal account of the everyday experiences, feelings, and encounters of someone living with this condition. I wanted to raise awareness and support for all the challenges we face and all the obstacles we overcome.

So, this is how my blog came about and it’s exactly how it got its title, Just a Little Sweat. Once you read some of the posts, dig a little deeper and spend a day in our shoes, you’ll find out that it’s anything but.

Lessons for my high school self

/ carynjoan / 3 Comments

I’ve had HH for almost 28 years now and I think I’ve learned a thing
or two. If I were to travel to the past and meet up with my high
school self, I would share what I have learned.
—

I approach my high school self. I am in the band room, my second home.
I know that at this point in my life I was slowly starting to tell my
closest friends and teachers about HH. I had a love for playing the
flute, but struggled with my hot, sweaty hands. I also had
difficulties in school, taking tests and writing essays with paper and
pen.

“You inspire me because you are brave. You have talked about HH openly
with your closest friends. You give me hope that people are accepting
and understanding. I hope that you continue to share your stories
about HH with those closest to you.”

I know that once I hit college, I started hiding my HH again. I barely
told anyone about it until my junior or senior year. I can only
think of 5 people I told in college- none were teachers. I think
telling people about it and talking openly, even with a few people, is
so helpful and a real coping mechanism.

“People aren’t paying attention to you and your HH as much as you
think. You may feel that your sweat is obvious and feel anxious about
it, but chances are other people really have no idea and can’t tell.”

People with HH are amazing at hiding it even though it might not feel
like it. I went through college and grad school without any teachers
knowing I had it. I just took a deep breath and did what needed to be done.
Easier said than done, but I’ve learned to at least try to stop worrying about
what people think.

“Don’t give up and follow your passions.”

I didn’t let HH hold me back. I found ways to modify the activities I
loved or talked to someone about it for advice. I have played the flute
for 19 years. All I needed was a fan, a hugely absorbent towel, great
musician friends, and sometimes a tub of cold water to stand in.
I’ve learned to make do with what I have.

“Although it might sound cliche, I promise that it does get better.”

Since graduating high school, I’ve had 10 more years of experience with
HH. I’ve learned different coping techniques, tried new treatments, and
helped the HH community grow. I know there is help and support out there
and have seen it first hand.

I am proud of my journey with HH and am happy that I have learned with it
and from it. I know that I can’t really share what I have learned with my high
school self, but I can share it with you.

How would life be different without HH?

/ carynjoan / Leave a comment

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different without Hyperhidrosis.

I wouldn’t have to worry about the little things like greeting someone new with a handshake or writing with a pen on paper. I wouldn’t have to worry about holding a newspaper, either deteriorating the paper with sweat or coming away with print on my hands. I wouldn’t have to worry about holding onto a subway rail, taking change back from a cashier, accidentally touching someone’s arm with a cold and wet hand, or leaving an embarrassing hand print behind. I wouldn’t have grown up with other kids not wanting to hold my hand during square dancing in gym class or as their line partner to go to the lunch room. I wouldn’t have had to avoid certain things growing up like playing clapping games with my friends or braiding each others’ hair.

Sometimes I think about life without HH and how normal it would have been. I wouldn’t have had to be anxious about my underarm sweat stains reaching the hem of my shirt, or going to the nurse’s office several times a week just to avoid my embarrassment. Maybe I would have continued taking gymnastics lessons. Maybe I would have joined clogging dance with my sister where there is a lot of hand holding.

Life without HH seems so normal and it’s something I’ve envied for a long time. But thinking of life without HH sure has a lot of maybe’s and  what if’s.

What I do know is that I really can’t imagine my life without HH. It is a part of me and it is a part of who I have become. Without HH, I would have taken all of the above for granted. I feel fortunate that I don’t.

HH has made me a stronger person. It has given me pride in accomplishing even the smallest of tasks. HH has also made me an observer and someone who cares a lot. It has given me an understanding and appreciation for all people.

So how would life be different without HH? I’m not quite sure.
But I think life with HH has made it better.

 

How to Buy a Ring for a Girl with HH

/ carynjoan / 1 Comment

It’s hard to believe that two years ago, I wrote a blog post about HH and Engagement Rings and now, I have my own engagement ring! I had some fears about it before, but between successful Iontophoresis treatments and my excitement about the engagement, my anxieties have gone away.

My fiance, Francis, put so much thought and effort into the proposal and I couldn’t be happier with how things turned out! He has always been incredibly supportive and understanding of my HH. For the proposal, he took my HH into consideration and came up with ways to make sure everything would be perfect, including the ring. I am so lucky to have him in my life and I hope you enjoy this beautiful guest post he has written.
_______________________

Hyperhidrosis was never an issue in the first place. In fact, I was supposed to be all set. I apologize that the title might be a little misleading since this is really a story about how I made this more complicated than it needed to be.

A year or so before I asked her parents’ blessings, Caryn had actually e-mailed them information on all the rings she liked. So when I worked up the courage to ask for her parents’ blessings earlier this May, I was given everything I could’ve ever needed for the ring, ranging from the styles and cuts to the actual ring size. I had some vague ideas on how I would propose which included taking her to a daffodil garden in Atlanta (she’s in love with daffodils) or proposing to her on an ice rink during winter (which is how I asked her to be my girlfriend). My ideas were decent, but not only would she have seen those proposals coming, the ideas depended entirely on seasons, which would’ve made me wait for this winter or next spring.

It was only until I was about to leave her parents’ house that  I came up with the idea of proposing at the finish line of a half marathon. It was brilliant! We’ve run one half marathon every year for the last three years and all the dedication and hard work has meant a lot to both of us. She would never see this coming.

“I thought you gave up on half marathons last year?” she asked.

Okay, I did tell her that half marathons were too long and painful, but I could look past it just this once. I am proposing after all.

“Yeaaaah, I changed my mind, I like half marathons!”

A couple of days later, we officially signed up for the Grete’s Great Gallop Half Marathon in Central Park at October 5th! While she was busy creating a training guide, I was busy figuring out all the logistics behind the proposal.

“Are you going to run with the ring?” one friend asked.

“Don’t you think you’re going to be out of breath?” another friend inquired.

These were important details that I knew I would have to figure out, but when I told her mom about the idea, she revealed the biggest curveball of them all:

“What about her hyperhidrosis?”

As much as I initially wanted to deny that this would be an issue, this really doesn’t bode well for the ring. Her mom provided me with her ring size 9. This is what Caryn uses to give herself enough room when her hand swells up. I would be forcing her to sweat and swell up her hands if we run this race. This wouldn’t be an issue in a normal situation, but would she have issues putting the ring on after running 13.1 miles?

Could I propose to her before the race? I thought about it briefly, but found it to be awfully anticlimactic, so I knew it wouldn’t be a real option. I was so excited about the idea initially but the more I thought about it, the riskier it became. Her mom assured me that Caryn would like the proposal no matter what but I certainly didn’t want to disappoint her. I wanted to make sure I did things right.

Amidst of all of this, my friends kept bugging me that the ring size seemed off, which made me doubt it was correct. This was frustrating because I didn’t know how Caryn would feel if I told them about her HH and I just didn’t know if they’d understand. I knew nothing about ring sizes to begin with, but once I got clarification about the size, I assured them that the size was correct and it’s because Caryn’s hands have a tendency to swell up.

I realized that there were other options outside proposing at the beginning or the end of the race. I could propose to her in the middle of the race instead. This way, her hand would be less sweaty. The risk involved with the ring fitting on her hand was still there, but I felt better about her hands in the middle of the race.

I also played around the idea of proposing at the hot air balloon festival near her parents house. This would be an alternative plan and even though it sounds romantic, I felt that hot air balloons are nowhere near as significant to us compared to the half marathon. Luckily, I didn’t have to propose that way…

We were riding the subway one day when Caryn started getting anxious about the upcoming gig we were traveling to. Although she’s been doing the Iontophoresis treatment, her hands started sweating more as we got closer to the venue. She started complaining that her hands were getting sweaty because she was nervous and all of a sudden, I found myself just blatantly asking her point blank.

“When your hands start sweating, does your ring ever feel tight on you?”

“Well, size 9 is big enough for my finger so it’s okay. I don’t really have issues putting the ring on but it’s a little tight when I remove it.”

The ring would actually fit! Finally, a wave of anxiety lifted off my head and all I had to do was just bluntly ask her! I didn’t want to raise suspicions, but in my head, I thought I was so cool and smooth by sneaking it into the conversation. She saw right through it though, but fortunately, she didn’t really let my question get into her head.

It wasn’t exactly smooth sailing afterwards. The week before the race, my entire plan almost crashed and burned in front of me when Caryn accidentally tripped on a staircase and fell on her ankle. Thankfully she was okay and my mini heart attack subsided, but it really put things into perspective. This was my plan from the start and this is how I planned to propose to her. Proposing alone is frightening enough as it is, but running a half marathon on top of that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done physically and mentally. And all of it could fail at a drop of a hat. It wasn’t just the Hyperhidrosis. One of us could get injured, the race could get washed out or she could plainly just have said no.

But despite all those risks came the big payoff. The weather was beautiful and we had an amazing group of friends who were waiting for us in the 5 mile mark with their hand-written signs that said “Caryn, Francis Has A Question For You.” Caryn complained that my pace was too fast from the start of the race, but my nerves and adrenaline were pushing me to get to that proposal spot. A few streets before we got to our friends, Caryn commented that we were almost half way through the race and I smiled knowing that I was about to change her life forever in the next couple of feet.

The next three minutes were such a blur. The important things are that she said yes and the ring fit her finger. As much as I tried to envision how the proposal would go, there were details I could’ve never prepared for including the empty cups littered all over the ground from the water station. But the little things like that are what made it memorable.

Could I have gotten away with doing something safer and avoided all this trouble? Maybe propose to her at an ice rink akin to how I asked her out? Her hands wouldn’t have been an issue and Caryn would’ve loved it all the same. But when you’re after someone who means the world to you, that risk is worth it. You just need to have the courage to take that leap of faith in the first place.

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