My Experience on Dating Someone with Hyperhidrosis

Happy New Year!

My boyfriend had been talking about writing a guest blog post for Just A Little Sweat for a while, and on Christmas day, he surprised me with his beautiful and inspiring take on his experience dating someone with Hyperhidrosis. His words mean a lot to me and show me how supportive he is of me and my blog. He also shows support for you, my readers, and that is just as important to me.

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It’s probably not Hyperhidrosis. Caryn says it might be food induced HH but I’m not entirely convinced. Sweat pours down my forehead when I eat spicy food. I don’t eat it very often but when I do, I constantly have to wipe my face from becoming such a mess. It’s not really a hindrance though. I can easily stop eating spicy food (not that easy to give up chicken wings). I could just eat it in the privacy of my own home so people don’t see the sweat on my head. If only it was that easy for Caryn.

I don’t claim to understand Hyperhidrosis. But as silly as it sounds, it’s my small attempt in putting myself inside her shoes. (Which is a lot to ask for since she has a lot of shoes.)

I never heard of Hyperhidrosis until I started dating Caryn. And as hard as it must have been for her to tell me, I feel awful that I don’t remember the first time she told me about her condition. I probably didn’t even ‘get’  how big of a deal it was when she told me. But what know now is how much it affects her in everyday life and how she’s managed to overcome those struggles. Yes, there are some days that are easier than others. Her hands get more wet when she’s anxious and since she’s even more anxious when her hands are wet, the situation practically snowballs from there. But despite all of those things, she reels in those feelings, adapts and keeps moving forward.

It wasn’t always easy for her though. Well, I can’t say it was ever easy for her at all. There were times where I simply didn’t “get it” to completely help her in some situations. But what really helps her is having solace to all those who read this blog. Sharing her experiences with all of you has such a positive impact in her life and outlook on HH. Before this blog, she was afraid of letting anybody know about her condition. But after writing a couple of entries, she became braver and more inspired. While she didn’t tell every stranger out in the street (it doesn’t stop her from talking about it out in the subway though), she managed to muster up the courage to tell her closest friends. They’ve all been supportive and I feel like it gave Caryn the relief she always wanted.

Coming from someone who doesn’t have it, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be to tell someone about HH. Caryn once gave me hand lotion that stayed wet for about 5 minutes. It was definitely uncomfortable and it’s probably the closest experience I could equate it to. But what I can say if you’re someone who hasn’t told your closest friends and family, mustering up the courage to tell them offers more support than what you thought you had. In Caryn’s case, she was so worried telling some of her friends that when she finally told them recently, she forgot that some of them already knew. She didn’t realize she had the support all along and she just needed to open up to people.

My friend once told me one of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard: “People aren’t judging you as much as you think they are.” It’s slightly different than ‘stop worrying about what others think’ because this outlook shows that people aren’t as negative as you think. If shaking someone’s hand makes you embarrassed with what they think, chances are they probably didn’t think much of it. If you think people can tell your hand is getting sweaty, chances are most people aren’t even paying attention to it.

If HH is preventing you from getting close with anyone, remember that HH doesn’t define you. Just like how I said people aren’t judging you as much as you think they are, that special someone will get past it, accept it and love you for who you are.

In the beginning of our relationship, Caryn kept asking me if her hands grossed me out. All I would have to do is hold her hand tighter to show that spending time with her was more important than her hands. Besides, who else could laugh with me when I sweat profusely while eating chicken wings?

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14 thoughts on “My Experience on Dating Someone with Hyperhidrosis

  1. This honestly is the post I needed to read! I also recently have told my closest friends and family and the support is just amazing! And I now feel like I can finally start living my life after 30 years and not want to hide under a rock. My finance is also very supportive of my condition and we are getting married November 8th which I never thought would happen! Thanks again for the inspiration. I just want to thank my finance for excepting HH!

    • Hi Stina- Thanks for your comment! Congratulations on your engagement and also for recently telling your friends and family about HH! 🙂 So happy for you- I wish you and your fiance the best!

    • This brings me to tears. I have dealt with HH all my life since I was a child. It never gets easy. There are days that are easier than others. It amazes me how lucky and fortunate you are to meet such an amazing man that truly accepts you and your HH. I have always had a hard time dating and holding hands. The thing that kills me the most are job interviews. I mean the sweat drips like a open faucet. I get so nervous and that makes it so much worse. It’s terrible. It makes me so self conscious when meeting new people.

      • Thank you for your comment. I completely understand the anxiety of meeting new people (job interviews especially!), and holding hands. I am the same way. Hyperhidrosis really dealt us a tricky hand to play in life. I feel like people without Hyperhidrosis take all of these little things for granted and would never think that we could get so worked up over a hand shake. I feel so lucky to have Francis in my life and am always amazed at how deep his understanding and acceptance of HH has become. I can always talk to him if I am anxious about something or if I’ve had a rough day with HH. Although I still deal with HH in my daily life and keep it a secret from many, it is so nice to be able to come home and relax with someone who knows this about me. There are more people like this out there, and the right person will love you for everything you are.

  2. Wow this gives me hope that there are good guys out there who would actually accept you as you are…i was on the verge of giving up on dating but now NO WAYS……….i am hopeful and i will stay positive.

    thank you!

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