hyperhidrosis

(I know it) Like the back of my hand

/ carynjoan / Leave a comment

I use the back of my hands a lot. You might find this strange or confusing, but it’s another coping mechanism.

The back of my hands sweat less. The tops of my fingers will sweat occasionally when my HH is very strong and opposite the palm area (above the wrist and below the knuckles), there is no sweat.

For my job, I have to hang a lot of posters to advertise concerts. I always smooth them down with the backs of my hands. I can’t do it with the front of my sweaty hands or the ink will run!

On the subway, I will sometimes balance myself by pressing the back of my hand to the rail. This works for the most part. I’m really good at balancing.

Side note- I truly think I have better balance from having HH on my feet. Walking with sweaty feet in sandals requires a lot of balance!

If I ever really need to be in close proximity to people where my hands may brush them, I make sure it’s with the back of my hands.  Fist bump instead of hand shake?

I tend to keep my palms down, so people are only seeing the back (tops) of my hands. Less glistening in the light!

At a bar, I will hold onto my drink most of the night so only the back of my hands are showing. Also, if you need to shake someone’s hand unexpectedly, you can claim that the sweat is the condensation from your glass. I do this a lot, actually. More lying- I guess this should have been in my “lying” post.

Does anyone else with HH use the back of their hands?

Caryn

Oh yeah, I’m a flute player

/ carynjoan / Leave a comment

So, I have been noticing that I rarely write anything about my flute playing in here.

Let me tell you a quick story.

I am in a woodwind quintet that performs all over the city.
In March 2012, we auditioned for MUNY (Music Under New York).
MUNY participants are able to reserve the best tip spots to perform in the subways.
Well, we won the audition!

We started playing in the subways this summer.

The evening before our first performance (which was in Union Square), I realized something I should have thought about a long time ago.

The subways are HOT. I have complained about the heat in my posts before, and other readers have commented on their heat as well. I have had some of my worst HH moments in subways!

I started freaking out- What did I do!?! Why did I intentionally do this to myself?!?
I was so upset with myself for not thinking this through.

The next day, we all played, and boy was it hot! But we all survived.

I brought a very absorbent towel with me, and that worked well. I keep that towel in my flute bag now, and use it every time I play. I use my music to fan my hands if necessary, and wipe my hands on my jeans.

My quintet and I have since then performed in Grand Central, Penn Station, Herald Square, and Columbus Circle. Each has been successful, and I am able to play my flute okay.

This past weekend in Columbus Circle, I became paranoid because people were looking over my shoulder (probably at the music) and my hands were dripping sweat. I hope they didn’t notice!

Also, my hands made the pads under my keys all sticky and moist. This gives an annoying sound when you move the keys. I hate feeling like I’m breaking my instrument every time I play 😦

For more info on my flute playing- www.carynfreitag.com

Stay strong out there- anything is possible, with a few alterations.

Caryn

What Would You Like to Read About?

/ carynjoan / Leave a comment

Hi All,

I want to write about things that you want to read. Please fill out this poll to let me know what you’re interested in. I have included a few options, but please, if you have suggestions about a topic, write it in the “other” box.


Thank you for reading 🙂

The weather is cooling off, so I hope you are all doing well!
Caryn

Don’t Sweat It…

/ carynjoan / Leave a comment

As a person with Hyperhidrosis, I have constantly been paranoid about where I put my hands, always wondering if people will see the sweat on my palms and fingers. When I’m playing my flute and my hands are probably gleaming  in the light, I start panicking and my performance is hindered.

Yesterday, I was at a meeting for work. I was at a conference table, taking notes with pen and paper. My hands were very sweaty and I was getting all nervous and uncomfortable.

YET, no one noticed at all. No one was looking at me strange, no one was looking at my hands.

Maybe they weren’t being observant or aware.

Think about it- how often do you look at people’s hands? I have HH and I don’t look at hands often, unless I am specifically looking out for people with the condition. I feel people look at hands and take them for granted- they don’t look to see an abnormality.

I really think this is how people with HH have lived in secret for so long.

This is something I need to tell myself now:

“Keep playing your flute- chances are they aren’t even looking at the sweat. They are listening to your music. ”

Don’t get me wrong- I think I will still be paranoid about what I do with my hands…I think it is a feeling that people with HH have all the time- the need to hide and conceal.

But, I just wanted to put my two cents in and let you know that there is a chance that people might not notice.

How many times has someone actually made a comment about your sweating? Not many people have actually commented on my sweating before I told them about my condition. Maybe we need to concentrate on this.

On the other hand, this could also mean that I’m just really good at hiding it! 🙂

Best,

Caryn

Rings and HH

/ carynjoan / 2 Comments

I wear rings every day. Usually, I wear my class ring from college- a classy one that gets a lot of comments from people.

You already know that HH causes my hands to swell to the point where I need to get a ring size larger than normal for my fingers.

What you don’t know is what happens when people want to look at my rings.

Many times, people will grab my hand and start admiring my ring.

With HH, this is highly uncomfortable. I don’t want them to notice my sweaty hands so I immediately take my ring off and hand it over to them to look at.

Anyway, I’m getting older…and one day I will hopefully be engaged and have a ring on my finger. Many women love when their engagement ring is looked at and show it off. Many friends and family don’t even ask to look at the ring, they just grab the Bride-to-Be’s hand to “ooh and ahh”.

This is going to suck for me. I don’t even know how I will handle it. I’m not going to take the ring off for the person to look at. This might be fine for other rings, but not an engagement ring.

Don’t get me wrong…I still want a ring. I’m a pretty traditional person when it comes to weddings. I am just imagining some uncomfortable situations in my future.

It’s sad that I need to think of this. Being engaged should be nothing but happy. It shouldn’t be awkward and uncomfortable.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

Caryn

Chocolate?

/ carynjoan / 2 Comments

Today as I rode the subway, I saw a girl snacking on some chocolate covered candies. My hands were a sweaty mess at this point and I imagined trying to eat what she was eating. My thoughts in order: Impossible, Disgusting, Messy.

How have I never mentioned this before? I can’t eat chocolate anything when my hands are sweaty!

M&M’s? Forget it! I will have a colorful mess left in my hand.

What’s up with their tagline, “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand?”

These candies surely have not been tested by people with HH!

Maybe the candied shell is keeping the chocolate from melting, but it is giving me an unwanted multicolored palm.

Another Reaction to Glycopyrrolate

/ carynjoan / Leave a comment

This one is not physical. This reaction is emotional.

After getting a glimpse of dry hands (or at least significantly less wet ones), then abruptly stopping the medication and becoming sweaty again, I am sad.  Having sweaty hands again after almost two weeks of being dry has been depressing. It is a let down that feels brand new. What a tease.

I feel like if I think about it too much, my outlook on life starts spinning out of control, leaving me a terrible feeling of the unknown in the pit of my stomach. I just have to shake the thoughts away because I can’t deal with it right now.

I am still afraid of going back on the medication right now because of my reaction to it. The plan is to speak to a doctor about it soon.

Good luck out there!

Caryn

Glycopyrrolate Week 2.5- WARNING

/ carynjoan / 1 Comment

Please be careful with Glycopyrrolate for HH!

I ended up in the Emergency Room last week for severe pain in my side, below my ribs.

I had no idea what was wrong with me at the time, but I had difficulty standing upright!

The pain was originating near my kidneys, so I was checked for Kidney and Gall Bladder stones among other things. All tests were clear.

After a few days of pain, I realized I never took my medication into consideration. I was on this medication before, and never had such side effects.

However, when I looked at the paperwork, I realized that the side effects fit my symptoms.

My doctor says that since I have lost weight since the first time I was on the medication, there was a chance I would react differently to it.

Glycopyrrolate will slow the activity of your abdominal cavity and I guess it basically caused a blockage.

I was unintentionally ignoring my symptoms, thinking that a little bloating and loss of appetite wasn’t anything to worry about.

A few days and intense pain later, I realized these symptoms had been going on for almost a week!

I have stopped the medication, and added a ton of fiber to my diet. I am feeling so much better now, and have plans for starting the medication again with a new diet.

I will keep you posted.

Caryn

 

I posted my Blog Site on Facebook

/ carynjoan / 1 Comment

Dear Facebook Community,

If you’ve come across this because of Facebook, chances are you know little to nothing about a certain medical condition called Hyperhidrosis. This is a condition that I am living and struggling with every day. I have had Hyperhidrosis (HH) my whole life, the first symptoms came when I was only one year old.

Posting my blog website on Facebook has been a goal of mine for many months because spreading awareness is one of the most important goals of my mission. Until today, I’ve been too afraid to post it. And to tell you the truth, I’m still terrified.

But…

I am always telling my readers to be brave and encouraging them to tell someone about their HH. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have been part of the problem. I will tell people here and there, but mostly I hide in the shadows, living silently with the struggle.

As someone who has stressed the importance of awareness, I’ve done a heck of a job keeping my two lives separate for the past 9 months my blog has been live. Until today, I have done everything in my power to keep my music life and my HH life separate on the Internet. I don’t sign my full name to these entries. I have created a different email address and Facebook account. None of my websites have been linked, and I check Google every now and then to make sure I didn’t mess anything up.

Here’s the thing. People like me have to stop thinking like this. We aren’t going to mess anything up! HH is part of who we are, and we have to accept it and stop living secret lives!

So, for me, this changes today.

I am acting vulnerable and putting myself out there.

I do this for EVERYONE living with HH. I have decided to dedicate my life to helping people like me. We all have the courage in us. Things need to change. I am growing sadder with every heart breaking HH story I hear from my readers and from other HH support groups. We aren’t alone, and I hope that soon we don’t feel like it.

For those just encountering this blog, feel free to start from the beginning, or work your way around at your leisure. For a quick overview, you can check out my story by clicking “About Me”.

You may know me well, little, or not at all, but thank you all for visiting this site. Every person this reaches is a step forward in achieving universal awareness and I believe that universal awareness and understanding will make our lives so much better.

Please send me any comments or questions, or even just a quick note to let me know you read this. Especially if you know me personally but had no idea what I’m living with. I would like to be more open about it with people, but it’s a tough thing to talk about at first.

As a gift to my readers, here is my personal website: www.carynfreitag.com. Now, I have officially linked the two together.

Finally. I’m not hiding anymore.

Sincerely, Not Anonymous,

Caryn.