Insecure at the smallest of tasks

Another  uncomfortable daily activity with HH is the simplest task of receiving coin change from the cashier after purchasing something. I’ve always hated this, but I guess it’s just one of those things I take for granted now. I will intentionally try to give exact change so that I only receive dollar bills back. My hands are usually sweaty at the cashier, and a lot of cashiers will put the change first in your hand, then the dollar bills. If they do that, I risk them seeing or touching my sweaty hand. I would much rather prefer the dollar bill go into my hand and then the change placed on top of that. Is this crazy or what? This is how insecure I am with HH sometimes. I analyze the smallest situations.

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4 thoughts on “Insecure at the smallest of tasks

  1. I had the ETS surgery over a decade ago, and although I often regret it (especially as my hands have begun to sweat again), all of the stories you tell remind me of the difficulties I no longer face and help me remember why I decided to go through with the surgery what now seems so long ago. Don’t get me wrong, the compensatory sweating is probably worse, and the daily struggles are in much the same vain, so I will always relate. Remembering the exact circumstances you often describe is uplifting and cathartic. Thank you for telling your stories. I love this blog. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about how much I used to dread receiving change.

    • Thank you for your kind words! I’m happy that I can connect through my experiences. I am I’m sorry to hear that your hands have begun to sweat again after ETS, but glad that you no longer face the difficulties of daily tasks!

  2. I’m tearing up as I’m reading this because this is just one example of daily exchanges that other people don’t have to worry about. I guess I never realized how taxing HH has really been on my life.

    • Thanks for your comment, Liah! The smallest things other people don’t have to worry about are our obstacles. It’s important for us to take a deep breath, stand tall and smile. I try to talk myself through it, like: will that cashier remember my sweaty hands tomorrow? Probably not. I want to be able to live with myself and be happy and not stress about things like this!

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