This is not “Part 2” of my previous entry.
One of the reasons I titled my previous entry, “Have I avoided this enough yet?” is because it’s so hard to talk and write about. It’s even hard to think about. I’ve gone back and forth for months on the subject, finally making at the very least, a temporary decision. It’s an exhausting topic and so I will be avoiding it some more, until part 2.
Today, however, I wanted to briefly discuss something that I find interesting.
This is probably going to make me sound like a hypocrite and I hope I don’t upset you.
My hands aren’t sweating 100% of the time. There are plenty of times when I’m totally “normal”.
During these times, if I encounter the sweaty palms of someone else, I find it…unpleasant.
That is the term I have decided to use. I don’t think it’s “bad” or “gross”. I don’t judge these people, I just notice that it is “unpleasant”. A sweaty handrail on the subway…a wet shopping bag handed to me by a cashier.
Believe me when I say that this upsets me. I of all people, sufferer of HH, should understand a thing or two about sweat. And you know from my previous posts that those two exact situations have happened to me! So why do I react this way? I guess I’m seeing it from the other side.
Also what is interesting, is that I had a similar reaction to just water. I went to hold my boyfriend’s hand and it was wet from the condensation from a drink or something. My reaction was the exact same…I knew it wasn’t sweat, but it was wet, and I didn’t like it.
So, okay, that makes me feel a little better. It’s not really the sweat that bothers me.
It makes me feel kind of defeated actually. That no matter how much awareness and acceptance there is of HH, it’s still “unpleasant”.